Critical thinking involves being open-minded and accepting knowledge from different sources. Crystals have been known to channel specialized knowledge from the universe into the person practicing the following technique. To discover this knowledge for yourself, do the following.
1) Obtain any kind of crystal(s)... table salt will do.
2) Find a quiet place where you can perform this technique, free from distractions.
3) Put an undergarment on your head—the fibers used in most undergarments help magnify the energy waves into your brain.
4) Place the crystal(s) in your left hand while with your right hand, pointing to your head and making circular motions. These motions stimulate the neural fibers and pathways making your brain receptive to new information.
5) Chant "uba-duba mooba pooba" 3,7, then 40 times. These numbers have special significance mathematically, and the phonics produced by the chant induces a hypnotic-type state that accelerates the absorption of knowledge.
By the end of this ceremony, you will have gained the knowledge that millions of mystics have discovered throughout the ages—that some people will fall for all kinds of crap.
Happy April Fools Day!