You're Good Enough, You're Smart Enough, and Doggone It, This Self-Talk Crap Just Isn't Working!
I talk to myself all the time, sometimes even out loud. Of course, I understand the importance of adhering to certain social norms, so I restrict my verbal self-talk to times when I am alone ... or times when I forget that I am not alone ... or times when I forget to take my meds and the aliens from planet Blutark keep wanting to talk to me. But I am not alone. According to Morin (1993) we all engage in self-talk as frequently as once per minute. It is commonly understood that this self-talk, either verbal or non, is a reflection of our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. What most people do not understand is that self-talk is part of a feedback loop that can be consciously controlled, either helping or hindering one’s success. If we have a negative self image, this will be the focus of our self-talk, further enforcing the negative self image. Conversely, a positive self image leads to positive self-talk, which enforces the positive self image. The question is, how can we get this positive feedback loop going? And it is okay to "fake it 'till we make it?"
Bright and Shiny: Rethinking Positive Thinking
There has been much research conducted in the last few decades attempting to demonstrate statistically significant benefits of positive thinking. There have been some studies that look promising (Fredrickson & Losada, 2005; Fredrikson, 2003; Seligman & Csikszentmihalyi, 2000), along with those that show no effect (Goodhart, 1986), and studies that demonstrate negative effects associated with positive thinking (McGrath, Jordens, Montgomery, & Kerridge, 2006; Norem & Chang, 2002; Woodstock, 2007). As a result, researchers such as Martin E.P. Seligman (Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment) and Barbara Fredrickson (Positivity: Top-Notch Research Reveals the 3 to 1 Ratio That Will Change Your Life) have focused on the results showing the benefits of positive thinking while researchers such as Barbara Ehrenreich (Bright-Sided: How Positive Thinking Is Undermining America) and Julie K. Norem (The Positive Power of Negative Thinking: Using Defensive Pessimism to Harness Anxiety and Perform at Your Peak) focused on the benefits of realistic and even pessimistic thinking. So what's the deal? Is positive thinking effective or not?
MYTH: For Every Study, There is Another Study That Says the Opposite
Have you ever read about a new study that seemed to prove an interesting fact, then shortly after, read a new study that seemed to prove the opposite? We all have. This is why “common wisdom” tells us, “for every study out there, there is another study that says the opposite.” But as usual, common wisdom is wrong. While conflicting studies are very common, scientific research and studies are far from useless as common wisdom would hold.
Anchoring Effect
Anchoring is our tendency to rely too heavily on a single piece of information in the decision-making process. We tend to “anchor” our answers to the information that is given to use as a target, estimate, or example. For example, we see this all the time when we are asked to make donations. The questions isn’t just, “how much will you give?” It is, “Would you like to donate $5, $10, or another amount?” The reason this is so effective, is that the person asking for the donation can, and does, positively effect the amount donated simply by suggesting higher amounts.
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